Unfuck Yourself

Gary John is a personal development expert in the industry. His “Urban Philosophy” approach represents a new trend of empowerment in both personal career and life mastery that has provided miraculous results for people in the quality and performance of their lives.

The author focuses on giving the readers the best way of living their best life and helping the reader find everything they have ever wanted residing within them. In this book, Gary differentiates assertive self-talk and narrative self- talk or affirmation. Instead of telling yourself “you’re not going to be great” rather tell yourself “you’re great.” Self actualization has a great impact on self-perception. Take control and be the captain of your own ship. Stop limiting yourself to the reality you choose. To succeed, you have to prove those firmly held (negative) beliefs WRONG. And believe me, there is a solution for everything.

Unfuck yourself also talks about embracing uncertainty. We often steer away from uncertainty because of the need to feel safe. And today, this instinct can give rise to a negative effect. The author believes that if you want to win, you have to be willing to let others judge you. The worst decision is making no decision. The absence of decision leads to the absence of experience and  that ultimately boils down to the absence of learning. This can lead to the worst regrets in life. Another important way of getting out of your head and into your mind is to conquer fear. If you want to improve be comfortable to be thought of as foolish and stupid. There is no destination, there is always an exploration. You have to believe that you are what you do and not your thoughts. Who cares about your thought? Focus on your deeds. You don’t have to feel that you like it in order to do it. This mindset is the only way to happiness.

The author explores the art of relentlessness. You have to take what you want out of life. Do not wait to be given to you. It will be painful but nothing worth having comes easy. Be focused. Destroy obstacles one after the other. Expect nothing and learn to accept everything. Disappointment is an unmet expectation. The idea is to accept reality as it comes and deal with it with no emotional bias.

Love what you already possess and be in control of your emotional state. Dispute your beliefs. Dispute your interpretation of things. Accept and act. Own your reactions. Real life has more value to your outcomes than the narrative you have about it. Make a habit of questioning your mind, always put things in perspective. There is always a solution to everything.

Keep your mind set on winning. You are wired to win. If you find yourself suddenly struggling with something you normally excel at or you’re stuck in a shitty relationship, remember that you always have a choice to change the game. Just understand the rules of the game and understand the players, including yourself. Do not limit yourself to the reality of your choices. Do not stop doing what you want to keep winning, as the only way to unfuck yourself is by getting the reaffirmation of your greatness as you keep winning. When you lose, see it as a learning experience and win again.

THE BIG THREE – KEYPOINTS

Key point #1:  Be relentless. Don’t give up and be prepared for disappointments.

Key point #2: Expect nothing and accept everything that keeps you moving towards your goal.

Key point #3: Embrace uncertainty and strategize as most as possible.

One Last Thing:

“Life won’t stop for your pauses and procrastination. It won’t stop for your confusion or fear. It will continue right along without you. Whether you play an active part or not, the show will go on.”

― Gary John Bishop, Unfuck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life