The 3rd Alternative

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Stephen Covey is the co-founder and Vice-chairman of Franklin Covey, a global professional service firm. He is a great author and a recipient of many awards, including eight honorary doctorate degrees and the National Entrepreneur of the Year Lifetime Achievement Award for Entrepreneurial Leadership.

The 3RD Alternative shows a way to solve life’s problems. There are two sides of most conflicts; the two opposing sides see their way as the best while another side as wrong. Stephen Covey refers to this as two alternative thinking. Problems are everywhere in the society; religion against science, white against black, liberal against conservative. Each side profoundly identifies their belief with what they believe. Therefore, when the belief is attacked, it is like their self-image is being attacked. Stephen Covey argues that this is why it is so hard for people to get past the 2-alternative mindset; the problem lies in our mental paradigm. Our paradigm governs our behavior which in turn regulates the consequence of our action. “Would you be willing to look at the 3rd alternative we haven’t even thought of yet?” This is a question that is rarely asked during a conflict, yet it seems so simple.

Stephen Covey describes the process of getting to the 3rd alternative as Synergy. He quickly explains that synergy is not a compromise since in compromise everyone loses something. However, synergy deals with the transformation of conflict and not just resolving it, and it is better than just my way or your way.  It is our way.

The 3rd Alternative describes four paradigms and without them, there would be no 3rd Alternative. This paradigm includes: I see myself, I see you, I seek you out, and I synergize with you. Once these paradigms are adopted, you can quickly get a 3rd Alternative.

 

The first paradigm of synergy is I SEE MYSELF paradigm. It sees oneself as unique and capable of one’s own judgment and actions.  This paradigm asks you to think about what you see when you look at yourself. Stephen defines this paradigm as “I see myself as a creative, self-aware human being which is more than the side I favor in a conflict. I might share certain beliefs or belong to certain groups, but these do not define me. I choose my own story.”

 

The second paradigm is the I SEE YOU. This is about seeing the other person as a person not as a thing. When you look at others, what do you see? Do you see them as unique human being with diverse talents? In the I SEE YOU paradigm, you and I are uniquely powerful because your strengths complement each other. There is no combination like us anywhere else. When one embraces this paradigm, they see the other person as complex human being, their respect for that person is authentic, and they can look past the side of the conflict.

 

The third paradigm is I SEEK YOU OUT.  This paradigm is about actively seeking out different views instead of avoiding them. It is significant to see conflict as an opportunity to learn something rather than defending yourself and your side. It is important to listen to someone who does not agree with you. They key however is actually listening to them. During a conflict, we are usually thinking about our side and are not listening to the other person talk. An empathic listener seeks to understand the thought and feelings of others.

 

The fourth paradigm is I SYNERGIZE WITH YOU. This is about coming up with a solution that no one has ever thought of yet. In the synergize paradigm, we look for the 3rd alternative. But this stage is impossible without the first three stages. Once these three paradigms are met, synergy will definitely occur.

 

This book focuses on conflict resolution. By adopting the paradigms necessary for synergy and creating the 3rd alternative, a better solution to any conflict can be reached.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1: A 3rd Alternative requires no concessions at all because it’s truly a better deal for everyone.

Key point #2: Synergy occurs when the first three paradigms are adopted.

 

Key point #3: The 3rd alternative can only be reached by opposing sides when there is synergy.

 

One last thing:

“It’s not only natural but essential for people to have different opinions. I’ve said many times over the years that if two people have the same opinion, one of them is unnecessary. A world without difference would be a world of sameness where no progress is possible.” –Stephen R. Covey

THE SPEED OF TRUST

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The speed of trust is coined out of Mr. Covey’s experiences he has seen over the years in leadership and while working with companies. It focuses on helping individuals in building and infusing trust in and around them. The Speed of Trust starts off with the “Economies of trust”. The author uses this formula to demonstrate his point: When trust is low, speed goes down and cost goes up; when trust is high, speed goes up and cost goes down. The author equates trust to paying taxes. As a taxpayer, we know a certain amount of money must be paid to IRS annually as a tax but when it comes to trust or lack of trust, we are paying a tax and we may not be aware of it.

 

The other equation the author offers is the product of strategy and execution.

Strategy * Execution = Results

 

But then he goes on to say the product of strategy and Execution and Trust gives Results

(Strategy * Execution)*Trust = Result

 

Trust is a multiplier. You can have a good strategy and a great execution plan but without trust, the project can get derailed. Trust is a key ingredient for all relationships and it’s one of the most powerful forms of motivation and inspiration. People want to be trusted. The author goes further to break down trust into five waves:

 

  1. Self-trust, which deals with confidence we have in ourselves, in our ability to set and achieve goals, keep a commitment, to walk the talk and also with our ability to inspire trust in others; a person who is worthy of trust.
  2. Relationship Trust, which is about how to establish and increase trust with others, to enhance relationships and achieve a better result.
  3. Organizational trust, deals with how leaders can generate trust in all kinds of organizations like businesses, not for profit organizations, etc.
  4. Market trust, is about reputation, whereby everyone clearly understands the impact of trust; and lastly,
  5. Societal Trust is about contribution and focuses on creating value for others and society at large.

                          

The first wave is about the four dimension of credibility. These are the foundational elements that make people believable to themselves and to others. They are: integrity, intent, capabilities, and result.

 

The second wave is about the thirteen different ways leaders behave. Covey believes that these behaviors are common to high trust leaders and individuals worldwide. These enhance one’s ability to establish trust in all relationships. The first five flow from character, the second five flow from competence while the last three are the combination of both character and competence.

 

These 13 behavior characteristics are:

  1. Talk Straight:  Be honest and tell the truth. Let people know where they stand and use simple English while communicating.
  2. Demonstrate Respect: Demonstrate respect, don’t fake caring and don’t attempt to be efficient with people.
  3. Create Transparency:  create transparency by telling the truth, don’t have hidden agendas or information, get real, be genuine, open and authentic.
  4. Right Wrongs: Make things right when you are wrong, don’t cover things up. Demonstrate humility  and apologize quickly.
  5. Show Loyalty: you show loyalty by acknowledging the contributions of others and giving credit freely. Don’t bad mouth or disclose others private matters.
  6. Deliver Result: this is done by getting the right things done. Make things happen, don’t over-promise or underdeliver. Always be on time and within budget.
  7. Get Better: Don’t assume today’s skill will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenge. Constantly improve your capabilities and don’t consider yourself above feedbacks.
  8. Confront Reality: Lead out courageously in conversation, address the tough issues directly. Don’t bury your head in the sand instead take issues head-on.
  9. Clarify Expectation: Disclose and reveal expectation, discuss them validate them, renegotiate them. Done violate expectation or assume that expectations are cleared or shared.
  10. Practice Accountability: Hold yourself accountable, hold others accountable. Take responsibility for results. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.
  11. Listen First: Listen before you speak. Understand, diagnose and listen with your ears and eyes and heart. Find out the most important behaviors are to the people you’re working with. Don’t assume you know what matters to others. Don’t presume you have all of the answers or all the questions.
  12. Keep Commitment: Say what you’re going to do or do what you’re going to do.
  13. Extend Trust: Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust. Extend trust conditionally to those who are earning your trust. Don’t withhold trust because there is risk involved.

The speed of trust affirms that to inspire trust is to create the foundation on which truly successful organization/relationships stand. This ability is the prime differentiator between managing and leading.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1: Trust can be efficiently taught and learned, and it can become a leverageable strategic advantage

Key point #2: Trust is one of the most powerful forms of motivation and inspiration.

Key point #3: Trust is a function of character and competence

One Last Thing

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”

― Paulo Coelho

THE 8TH HABIT:  FROM EFFECTIVENESS TO GREATNESS

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Being effective is no longer an option in today’s dynamic and ever-changing world. It is a must, a requirement. Things keep changing and without effectiveness, you will end up without the necessary requirement and standard.

In this book, Stephen Covey shows us how to be as effective as we could be. He also makes us understand how we can move from effectiveness to greatness. The first 7 habits form the foundation, while the 8th habit takes us to true fulfillment in the age of knowledge workers as described by Covey.

The book is divided into two sections, 1) Finding your voice and 2) Inspiring others to find theirs.

1) Finding your Voice: The purpose of this habit is to make sure you find your voice to a point that you can be sure you are 100% involved in that which is important to you. Your body, soul, mind and spirit are all engaged in whatever you are doing. To find your voice, you need to understand your natural talents, what really interests you and what you love doing. To understand this, you have to listen and trust your inner voice, your conscience as it tells you what is the right thing to do. We can discover our voice because of these three gifts we possess:

  1.    The freedom to choose
  2.    The natural law which dictates the consequence of our behavior.
  3.    The four intelligences, which are mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.

Covey does not stop at that. He moves on to give insight to great achievers and how they express their voice through their four intelligences. For example, great achievers develop: 

  • Their mental energy into vision
  • Their emotional energy into passion
  • Their spiritual energy into conscience
  • Their physical energy into discipline

Hitler had vision, passion and discipline but his downfall came from his lack of understanding about the second gift. He was egoistic. He refused to control his ego and let his conscience guide his behavior. Therefore, we must not fall into that same pit but learn from it.

The truth in business today is that so many people have lost their voice or they have yet to find it. These kind of people go to work every day to satisfy their bodily need and fail to put their natural talents to work and use their creativity and intelligence. They need their voices back or need to find them. We all do. The question now is how do we find our voice? Find out more in the 8th habit.

2) Inspiring others to find their Voice:

When you have successfully found your voice, the next thing is to help others find theirs which is somewhat about leadership. Great leaders have always inspired people to find their voice. Greatness is always the end result of people or organizations who eventually find their voice.

Covey talks about leadership greatness and organizational greatness. He demonstrated that leadership greatness is all about four principal things which are the 7 habits, pathfinding, aligning and empowering. Organizational greatness, on the other hand, comes from vision, mission and core values that bring synergy, commitment, clarity and accountability. An organization with leaders who understand and live the four leadership principles of pathfinding, modeling, alignment and empowerment and great people who have discovered their voice have transformed from effectiveness to greatness.

He finally leaves us with four top disciplines that if consistent with, they will improve your ability to focus and execute your top priorities.

  • Focus on what is most important
  • Have a compelling board
  • Break down your goals into actionable plans
  • Be accountable

Having this book on your list should be your priority. Get it and thank me later…

The Big Three – Key Points

Key point #1: The way to step from effectiveness into greatness is by finding your voice.

Key point #2: Maximize the three gifts in finding your voice.

Key point #3: Become a leader that inspires people to find their voice.

One last thing

“People simply feel better about themselves when they’re good at something.”
― Stephen R. Covey