Archive for: Tim Irwin

It’s no secret, anyone who has ever lead a parent, a boss, a teacher or a coach, would love to know the recipe for bringing out the best in others. In this  book, Extraordinary Influence, Dr. Tim Irwin explains the power of affirmation. He outlines the powerful approach to motivating others and shows us the key to sustaining peak performance in the organization by motivating people to extraordinary performance through affirmation, inspiration and positive influence.  He says “although it is very satisfying to know deep down that we are pursuing purpose, perhaps the most personal affirmation occurs when another person acknowledges the strength of our character. When someone of significance affirms us particularly in a deep way, certain beliefs are formed. These beliefs are stored in our core (that person living inside of us who thinks, feels, forms opinions and quietly speaks to us). As opportunities and circumstances occur, beliefs direct our actions. Research has shown that affirmation from others whom we respect forms beliefs in our core that guide our actions.”

Affirmation from those we respect, admire and love profoundly changes us. As we incorporate and utilize words of affirmation, we begin to influence others and bring out the best in them. Criticism focuses on defects while affirmation strengthens abilities and achievement in a positive manner.

Dr. Tim Irwin also shows the difference between being polite and compliments.  He said “compliments are by their very nature superficial social rituals.” But  they are perfect for our social well being and needed in our lives as political and civilized beings.  As humans, there is a need for affirmation at different levels but most importantly at our core. Both the words we use and the frequency in which we give the affirmation are equally important. There are things that need to be affirmed on a daily basis, others weekly and monthly.  

Also, in organizations, employers need to foster intrinsic motivation so that individuals will grow to becoming better employees, better athletes or better students. The method used in providing feedback to employees such as performance appraisal or multi-rater feedback systems sometimes accomplish the opposite of what we intend. We inadvertently speak words of death instead of words of life. Many brain research studies have demonstrated  that these methods tend to engage a natural “negativity bias” that is hardwired in us all. How do we redirect employees who are out-of-line without engaging our natural negativity bias? The author urges leaders to ban the term “constructive criticism”. Brain science also tells us that we can establish a connection between the employee’s work and his or her aspiration.

Dr. Tim Irwin does a great job in explaining the biological and physiological responses of humans when facing  criticism vs. affirmation. When criticized, the amygdala (specific part of the brain that allows human to feel and perceive certain emotions) activates, decreasing attention and decreasing the higher functions of the brain. In contrast when we receive affirmation, the higher functions of the brain are activated bringing out activities such as creativity and productivity.

The author asks a thought-provoking question:”what would happen if we applied these principles of affirmation more broadly?” His response was a food for thought. He says, “my opinion is that the research I referenced throughout the book is prescriptive for individuals; however, we as a society would be much more likely to flourish if we became more affirming and less critical.”  This book explains a new approach to align staff members with an organization’s mission, strategy and goals.

 

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Keypoint #1: As opportunities and circumstances occur, beliefs direct our actions.

Keypoint #2: Affirmation from others whom we respect forms beliefs in our core that guide our actions.

Keypoint #3: Criticism focuses on defects while affirmation strengthens abilities and achievement in a positive manner.

 

One Last Thing

“Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another.” John C. Maxwell