The Steve Jobs Way. iLeadership for a New Generation

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Jay Elliot served as the senior vice president of Apple; he worked side by side with Steve Jobs which helps him to bring us a deep insider perspective of Steve’s Singular ileadership style which encompasses for major principles which are the product, talent organization, and marketing. There is no doubt that Steve jobs reign supreme in this four domains. Jay Elliot described Steve Jobs success in details. The more he advanced, the simpler his product became.  In some instances, it’s less about the product and more about the user. Every user wants to be successful. When you know how to operate something masterfully, how does it make you feel? More people will buy if customers feel good using your product.”

The Steve Jobs Way describes Jobs as a person who strives to improve the user experience. The vision drove him in every of his creation and Wozniak during their cooperating time.  Jobs believe there is nothing cooler in the world than creating a product that millions of people immediately want and many who don’t have are envious of those who do. He has the ability to create a consistent, positive product image in the mind of his customers. Jobs combines stick-to-itiveness with an intuitive sense of exactly what it takes to get the public enthralled with a product. This is because he understands that it isn’t a question of how well the product is designed and how smoothly it works (although they are critical factors) but of how it is perceived by the user which of course, is the key to product success.

The Steve Jobs Way points out that Jobs regularly spoke about the power of synergy and trust. Sometimes even during the development process in the company, Jobs referred to his Mac engineers as his most trusted associates. Each employee was provided with a T-shirt with Jobs single quote” pirates! Not the navy.”

The Steve Jobs Way also portray Steve Jobs as a man of principle. He is regularly guided by them.  “If you are not satisfied with no for an answer, your engineers will have no other option than to deliver you the technology product that you require.” Jobs seek new opportunities; hire talented people and transfer, their reality in short time.  He believes that a broad set of experiences expands our understanding of human experience. A broader understanding leads to breakthroughs that others may have missed. Breakthrough innovation requires creativity and creativity requires that you think differently about the way you think.  You can have most innovative ideas in the world, but if you can’t get people excited about it, it does not matter. His model of business is The Beatles. “They were four guys who kept each other’s kind of negative tendencies in check. They balanced each other, and the total was greater than the sum of the parts. That’s how I see business; great things in business are never done by one person, they’re done by a team of people” Steve said.

In The Steve Jobs Way, Jay Elliot shares the lessons that come out of Steve’s Intuitive approach to show how the creative and technologically brilliance of ileadership can be utilized to drive breakthrough in any organization irrespective of size.

THE BIG THREE – KEYPOINTS

Key point #1: Innovation takes confidence, boldness, craziness, and discipline to tune out the negative voices.

Key point #2:  You have to focus on improving user’s experience rather than the product design.

Key point #3: Work through your people and celebrate as a unit with every success.

 

One Last Thing

“My job is not to be easy on people. My job is to make them better.”

THE SPEED OF TRUST

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The speed of trust is coined out of Mr. Covey’s experiences he has seen over the years in leadership and while working with companies. It focuses on helping individuals in building and infusing trust in and around them. The Speed of Trust starts off with the “Economies of trust”. The author uses this formula to demonstrate his point: When trust is low, speed goes down and cost goes up; when trust is high, speed goes up and cost goes down. The author equates trust to paying taxes. As a taxpayer, we know a certain amount of money must be paid to IRS annually as a tax but when it comes to trust or lack of trust, we are paying a tax and we may not be aware of it.

 

The other equation the author offers is the product of strategy and execution.

Strategy * Execution = Results

 

But then he goes on to say the product of strategy and Execution and Trust gives Results

(Strategy * Execution)*Trust = Result

 

Trust is a multiplier. You can have a good strategy and a great execution plan but without trust, the project can get derailed. Trust is a key ingredient for all relationships and it’s one of the most powerful forms of motivation and inspiration. People want to be trusted. The author goes further to break down trust into five waves:

 

  1. Self-trust, which deals with confidence we have in ourselves, in our ability to set and achieve goals, keep a commitment, to walk the talk and also with our ability to inspire trust in others; a person who is worthy of trust.
  2. Relationship Trust, which is about how to establish and increase trust with others, to enhance relationships and achieve a better result.
  3. Organizational trust, deals with how leaders can generate trust in all kinds of organizations like businesses, not for profit organizations, etc.
  4. Market trust, is about reputation, whereby everyone clearly understands the impact of trust; and lastly,
  5. Societal Trust is about contribution and focuses on creating value for others and society at large.

                          

The first wave is about the four dimension of credibility. These are the foundational elements that make people believable to themselves and to others. They are: integrity, intent, capabilities, and result.

 

The second wave is about the thirteen different ways leaders behave. Covey believes that these behaviors are common to high trust leaders and individuals worldwide. These enhance one’s ability to establish trust in all relationships. The first five flow from character, the second five flow from competence while the last three are the combination of both character and competence.

 

These 13 behavior characteristics are:

  1. Talk Straight:  Be honest and tell the truth. Let people know where they stand and use simple English while communicating.
  2. Demonstrate Respect: Demonstrate respect, don’t fake caring and don’t attempt to be efficient with people.
  3. Create Transparency:  create transparency by telling the truth, don’t have hidden agendas or information, get real, be genuine, open and authentic.
  4. Right Wrongs: Make things right when you are wrong, don’t cover things up. Demonstrate humility  and apologize quickly.
  5. Show Loyalty: you show loyalty by acknowledging the contributions of others and giving credit freely. Don’t bad mouth or disclose others private matters.
  6. Deliver Result: this is done by getting the right things done. Make things happen, don’t over-promise or underdeliver. Always be on time and within budget.
  7. Get Better: Don’t assume today’s skill will be sufficient for tomorrow’s challenge. Constantly improve your capabilities and don’t consider yourself above feedbacks.
  8. Confront Reality: Lead out courageously in conversation, address the tough issues directly. Don’t bury your head in the sand instead take issues head-on.
  9. Clarify Expectation: Disclose and reveal expectation, discuss them validate them, renegotiate them. Done violate expectation or assume that expectations are cleared or shared.
  10. Practice Accountability: Hold yourself accountable, hold others accountable. Take responsibility for results. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.
  11. Listen First: Listen before you speak. Understand, diagnose and listen with your ears and eyes and heart. Find out the most important behaviors are to the people you’re working with. Don’t assume you know what matters to others. Don’t presume you have all of the answers or all the questions.
  12. Keep Commitment: Say what you’re going to do or do what you’re going to do.
  13. Extend Trust: Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your trust. Extend trust conditionally to those who are earning your trust. Don’t withhold trust because there is risk involved.

The speed of trust affirms that to inspire trust is to create the foundation on which truly successful organization/relationships stand. This ability is the prime differentiator between managing and leading.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1: Trust can be efficiently taught and learned, and it can become a leverageable strategic advantage

Key point #2: Trust is one of the most powerful forms of motivation and inspiration.

Key point #3: Trust is a function of character and competence

One Last Thing

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”

― Paulo Coelho

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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This book falls into two different categories because of the content that it presents. It is a self-help book as well as a guide for those who are in the business market. This book tells different stories which assists the reader in seeing the results of grit and the power of this particular habit.

​The book discusses how the people should not depend on their intelligence as the basis for their success. It is true that a natural talent at something could take a person far in that field, but with passion and perseverance, the person can go even farther than that. Duckworth goes on to explain that without grit, even the most talented people are unable to complete their job. They need to keep going in order to be the best at what they do. She takes the examples of many different authors and uses their point of views to explain the concepts.

There are four characteristics of the Grit model, which one must possess to make it in the field that they want. 

  • Interest: This is the single most important thing which can assist one in being gritty. This is because without interest one could never be truly passionate about a subject.
  • Practice: One must practice the work that has been given to them so that they can achieve mastery of that skill.
  • Purpose: This is important because, without purpose, one can lose the sight of their goals and get lost along the way.
  • Hope: This is significant because, without hope, people find it easier to give up. Those who are hopeful, even when the times are tough can endure all the problems and make it through the storms they are facing.

The story about hope has been explained through the words of Pete Carroll, and how hope is real. Those who give up on hope, simply give up on life and that is not the mindset of those who are full of grit. Being gritty is not in the control of ordinary people, and that is why one must understand the emotional aspects of this phenomenon as well. She explains that grit is physical as well as mental, which is why the people must learn to focus on both the aspects. She does a great job by explaining through the example of SAT exams and those who have been successful in these tests. Through her formula, these test results, as well as those of other official tests, could be predicted easily. Those who put through effort into the preparation would merely achieve better results, even if the time they spent on the work has been shorter.

Lastly, the book talks about how people who are grittier have the passion for mastering the skills that they are working on. These people practice again and again, and that is their decision to do so. Many people, when reaching a goal would sit back and relax, which could assist them in developing the habit of relaxing. While on the other hand, those people who have grit practice their aims again and again even after they have achieved it. This is because they enjoy doing that work and get satisfied with what they are doing. That is why they become so successful and the masters of what they are doing.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS​

Key point #1: Grit is not just about the act of perseverance. It takes a lot more than that to become successful in life.

Key point #2: Passion is one of the leading points, those who have it, will persist longer than others. It is the internal motivator of all.​

Key point #3: Without purpose, passion would not take one anywhere! It is the external motivator and urges the person to complete their goals.

One Last Thing

“Our potential is one thing. What we do with it is quite another.”
― Angela Duckworth

The Four: The Hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Google

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Galloway, an entrepreneur, and professor at NYU Stern provides a perceptive analysis of the four-horse race to become a billionaire company in THE FOUR: the hidden DNA of Amazon, Apple, Facebook, and Google. The author casually uncovers how each of these companies has deployed iconic leadership, technology, storytelling, fearless innovation, lightening execution and blatant plagiarism to devastating effects.

The author expressly demonstrates that despite their brilliance, the Four have not achieved dominance by themselves. They are driven by technology and capital and have thrived within a hyper-consumer de-regulated capitalist culture. Starting in America, then rapidly scaling throughout the world, the Four are the product of a Faustian bargain between weary institutions and evaporating middle class, attention-seeking media, and profit-hungry market. Fundamental to the success of these four great companies is how they used strategy and technology to appeal to basic human needs and desires.

In Galloway thesis, each of them appeals to a particular human organ. Google targets the brain and thirst for knowledge, Facebook leverages on the heart and our need to develop empathic and meaningful relationships, Amazon targets the guts by satisfying the impulse to consume while Apple focuses firmly on our genitals. With their discovery of human desires, the Four have gone about declaring war on what entrepreneurs euphemistically refer to as “friction.”

Friction includes every obstacle in the way of satisfying a given desire. Starting from the synaptic connection in the brain responsible for decision-making processes to the rules issued by regulatory and tax authorities to supply chain all the way down to the manufacturers of products in the developing world. However, the author affirms that this is not bad news. The laws of friction have been an undeniably positive development for consumers. Products are cheaper and the level of customer service has reached new heights. This system is so successful that people grant The Four access into their lives.

The Four are attempting to cement their dominance by becoming providers of public infrastructures. In this regard, Amazon is leading the pack. It is marshaling a global logistics operation that is the envy of most nation-states, including a fleet of Boeing 767s, drones, thousands of tractor trailers and trans-pacific shipping. Google has server arms and is launching blimps into the atmosphere that will beam broadband down to earth. These organizations are committed to becoming a permanent fixture of the future.

For the foreseeable future, Galloway suggests that the four will continue to reign supreme. That is, if they don’t pounce each other. If history taught us something, it is that Gods don’t share power well. And on current figures, Amazon seems the most aggressive and effective at stealing market share. They are even out stealing Google in searches with 55 percent of product searches starting on Amazon against Google’s 28 percent. As the author put it, “The prize? A trillion-dollar-plus valuation and power and influence greater than any entity in history.” In chapter nine, Galloway teases with a possible Fifth Horseman, exploring candidates, from Netflix to China’s famous Alibaba. Toward the end of the book, Gallow advises young talents on how to succeed in a new tech-dominated world. Throughout the book, Galloway pulls a few punches and never holds back any controversial opinion.

The author does not write the book to tarnish the reputation of the four companies but rather to offer a source of encouragement and understanding of the value of business. “I wrote this book for the same reason. I hope the reader gains insight and a competitive edge in an economy where it’s never been easier to be a billionaire, but it’s never been harder to be a millionaire.” Through this statement, Scott Galloway makes his intentions clear.

By far, one of the most exciting books I have read in the last two years. Understanding The Four is understanding the why, what and how of our habits today. I also found this book of value as a guideline for novices in the field of innovation and entrepreneurialism trying to understand the competitive and challenging business ecosystem the four themselves have created.

THE BIG THREE –  KEY POINTS

Key point #1: The Four have not achieved dominance by themselves despite their brilliance. Their similarity is that technology and capital drive them, thriving within hyper-consumer and deregulated capitalist culture.

Key point #2:  The Four used technology and strategy to understand and appeal to basic human desires.

Key point #3: The Four undoubtedly faced threats among each other, the entrance of a possible 5th horse and other forces outside of their industries, such as Google’s ongoing confrontation with the European Commission. However, the Four will continue to reign supreme.

THE 8TH HABIT:  FROM EFFECTIVENESS TO GREATNESS

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Being effective is no longer an option in today’s dynamic and ever-changing world. It is a must, a requirement. Things keep changing and without effectiveness, you will end up without the necessary requirement and standard.

In this book, Stephen Covey shows us how to be as effective as we could be. He also makes us understand how we can move from effectiveness to greatness. The first 7 habits form the foundation, while the 8th habit takes us to true fulfillment in the age of knowledge workers as described by Covey.

The book is divided into two sections, 1) Finding your voice and 2) Inspiring others to find theirs.

1) Finding your Voice: The purpose of this habit is to make sure you find your voice to a point that you can be sure you are 100% involved in that which is important to you. Your body, soul, mind and spirit are all engaged in whatever you are doing. To find your voice, you need to understand your natural talents, what really interests you and what you love doing. To understand this, you have to listen and trust your inner voice, your conscience as it tells you what is the right thing to do. We can discover our voice because of these three gifts we possess:

  1.    The freedom to choose
  2.    The natural law which dictates the consequence of our behavior.
  3.    The four intelligences, which are mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.

Covey does not stop at that. He moves on to give insight to great achievers and how they express their voice through their four intelligences. For example, great achievers develop: 

  • Their mental energy into vision
  • Their emotional energy into passion
  • Their spiritual energy into conscience
  • Their physical energy into discipline

Hitler had vision, passion and discipline but his downfall came from his lack of understanding about the second gift. He was egoistic. He refused to control his ego and let his conscience guide his behavior. Therefore, we must not fall into that same pit but learn from it.

The truth in business today is that so many people have lost their voice or they have yet to find it. These kind of people go to work every day to satisfy their bodily need and fail to put their natural talents to work and use their creativity and intelligence. They need their voices back or need to find them. We all do. The question now is how do we find our voice? Find out more in the 8th habit.

2) Inspiring others to find their Voice:

When you have successfully found your voice, the next thing is to help others find theirs which is somewhat about leadership. Great leaders have always inspired people to find their voice. Greatness is always the end result of people or organizations who eventually find their voice.

Covey talks about leadership greatness and organizational greatness. He demonstrated that leadership greatness is all about four principal things which are the 7 habits, pathfinding, aligning and empowering. Organizational greatness, on the other hand, comes from vision, mission and core values that bring synergy, commitment, clarity and accountability. An organization with leaders who understand and live the four leadership principles of pathfinding, modeling, alignment and empowerment and great people who have discovered their voice have transformed from effectiveness to greatness.

He finally leaves us with four top disciplines that if consistent with, they will improve your ability to focus and execute your top priorities.

  • Focus on what is most important
  • Have a compelling board
  • Break down your goals into actionable plans
  • Be accountable

Having this book on your list should be your priority. Get it and thank me later…

The Big Three – Key Points

Key point #1: The way to step from effectiveness into greatness is by finding your voice.

Key point #2: Maximize the three gifts in finding your voice.

Key point #3: Become a leader that inspires people to find their voice.

One last thing

“People simply feel better about themselves when they’re good at something.”
― Stephen R. Covey 

So Good They Can’t Ignore You

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In this book, Cal Newport contradicts a long-held mindset about following your passion. He believed there is more to loving what you do than just following your passion. To discover this and back up his point, he set out on a quest by spending time with a Venture capitalist, organic farmers, writers, freelancers and other passionate individuals that derive great satisfaction in what they do.  In this quest, Newport identified strategies used and pitfalls avoided by these individuals in developing their career. Passion comes after you have invested in becoming excellent at something valuable not before you attempt something. Aligning your career with your pre-existing passion does not matter. “So Good They Can’t Ignore You” will change your perspective about your passion, career, happiness and developing a remarkable lifestyle.”

 

Steve Mark likes to say “be so good they can’t ignore you” irrespective of your level in your career. Whether you are just starting up, or you are a professional trying to move to the next level, your target should be to master your craft to the point where people can’t help but notice you. Being passionate about what you do is a great goal but following your passion will not get you there. There are two fundamental problems attached to following your passion:

 

Firstly, it assumes that people have a pre-existing passion they can identify and use when making career decisions. However, most people end up feeling lost because they have no idea about what they want to do.

 

Secondly, there is an assumption that says if you like something you will really like doing it for a job. “We don’t have an established evidence that is true,” Newport says. People passionate about their work has little to do with whether their job matches their pre-existing passions.  The bottom line is let your passion follow you in your craft and become someone that can’t be ignored and not to follow your passion. Try something interesting to do, find a skill and career path to pursue and if you are stuck at a crossroad, flip a coin. Make your skill valuable by reaching a high level of expertise. For example, many people look down on a linguistic major for being impractical. You can be very good at a particular type of writing; it will make you stand out. People who are passionate about their work develop the passion over time after building their skill to the point that they became rear and valuable.

 

To become so good at what you do, you need to master that skill through deliberate practice. Once you have chosen a career path, the next step is to master the skills in it to become irreplaceable. “You don’t have a leverage until you become so good.” Says Newport. Look out for simple and common mistakes that show up every day when working on your skill and don’t stop getting better. Many people build their skill to a stage that they become so comfortable and they stop improving on it. It is a deadly risk. To avoid this, push yourself beyond the comfort zone and continuously practice your skills just the way athletes, musicians or artists would.

 

Finally, you have to be good at something before big things start to happen. Don’t stop building on your skills. Be so good that you can’t be ignored.

 

The Big Three – Key Points

 

Key Point #1:

Do not follow your passion. Let your passion follow you and learn how you can grow your mindset around your passion.

 

Key Point #2:

To become so good at what you do, you need to master that skill through deliberate practice. You don’t have a leverage until you become so good.

 

Key Point #3:

Push yourself beyond your comfort zone and continuously practice your skills just the way athletes, musicians or artists do.

 

One Last Thing

“Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”

― Cal newport, So Good They Can’t Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love

Insanely Simple. The Obsession That Drives Apple’s Success

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Insanely simple is a book that values simplicity. It tells how simplicity drives success and how it has molded apple into what it has grown to become. How it happened, the techniques skills, actions, and decisions are all described in this book.

The author, Ken Segall worked for Apple for years on Apple ad campaigns such as Think different and Mac vs. PC. He also is responsible for the “I” in front of Apple products. He references Steve as “simple stick.” Steve will stop at nothing to knock complexity out in everything and make things as simple as possible. Complexity has its way of walking into an organization, a system or its product. Ken Segall knowing the effect of complexity on an organization shared the decisions that were made at Apple with the advantage of knowing how things worked out. Apple keeps everything insanely simple.

Steve said “simple can be harder than complex, you have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s always worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.”

Sometimes the easy path is not always the simple path. The easy path can cause more complexity and complications than the simple route. Simplicity is not just a goal for an organization or oneself; it is a skill that must be learned. Like leadership, we all have the ability to surge ahead through simplicity; we only need the right tools and frame of mind to do so. To be simple, you must think simple.

Thinking simple does not stop you from thinking brutally, and there is a difference between brutally honest and simply being brutal. Steve job was known for his brutal honesty. If he thought your work was terrible, he would not shy away from telling you. “Blunt is simplicity; Meandering is complexity” Job does not compromise his standard for Apple because of someone else’s feelings.

Another level of thinking Steve adopted was iconic thinking. To think simple, you have to think iconic. The first significant campaign Apple did after the return of Steve Jobs was the Think Different campaign. This campaign was designed around images of people who have made a tremendous difference in the world. Images speak more than the words. It gives Apple brand an edge to associate with iconic figures. By thinking iconic, it allows a ton of core value information to be communicated by an organization in just a few images.

Steve did not stop at that. To think simple, you have to think human. To think human, you allow your heart into the decision-making process and remember why you do what you do. Ultimately, it’s not about the gaining influence or making money; it’s about the people your organization helps.

Also, you have to think war. The concept behind “think war” is those worthy ideas are worth fighting for. You have to use everything you’ve got, take risks and overwhelm with force. Remember, simplicity is what can separate you from victory. Always keep it simple.

In a world of ever-growing complexity, if your organization can have the mind of thinking simple, people will flock your banner. Insanely Simple has all you need to know to think simple. A copy is more than worth it.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1: Simplicity is a skill that can be learned and developed. To be simple, you have to think simple.

Key point #2: Compromising your vision in order to spare someone else’s feeling is not simplicity.

Key point #3: Focus on one thing so as not to miss out on the most important thing.

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” ~Steve Jobs

Start With Why

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Start With Why is about an effective way of thinking, communicating, innovating and influencing people as a leader. Simon Sinek displays the notion that capable leaders inspire other people by emphasizing on the intention (‘the WHY’) before the procedure (the “HOW”) and the product or service (the “WHAT”). The more organizations and people who learn to start with WHY, the more those around will live a fulfilled life.

The first part of the book talks about a world that doesn’t start with WHY. Simon discusses two ways to influence behavior which is inspiration or manipulation.  Salespeople believe they attract customers with their features or price. In other words, we have no idea, so we manipulate sales, promotion the whole time. And yes, manipulation works. Prices, promotion, fears, aspirations, and novelty are all used to manipulate and motivate a purchase. All of these techniques work but Simon made it known that they are not sustainable and are short-lived. Regarding leadership, they can push you to the top, but they won’t make people follow you. Leadership is the ability to rally people, not for a single event but for years. However, there are few leaders who choose to inspire rather than motivate people. Whether individuals or organizations, every inspiring leader thinks, acts and communicates the same way. Consciously or not, how they do it is by following a naturally occurring pattern called the Golden Circle.

Part two of this book shows how leaders can inspire actions instead of manipulating people to act. The golden circle revolves around the WHAT (product or service), the HOW ( the procedure) and the WHY (the intention). Inspiring companies start with WHY. There is no trickery or manipulation. They just reverse the order of information. As humans, we crave a sense of belonging and we do this to survive. Starting with why helps to eliminate fear, share your beliefs and create a sense of belonging.

Part three of this book introduces us to the leaders’ needs. Leaders need a following. As members of the human race, we are attracted to those whose values, cultures and beliefs align with ours. When we recruit employees, we recruit people who believe what we believe so that we can trust one another instead of hiring purely based on skills and experience. In order words, leaders must build trust before building followers. The emergence of trust shows that trust is not a checklist. Instead, it is a feeling. We trust people and companies even when things go wrong, and we don’t believe others even when things might have gone the way it should. The idea is as a leader; you must earn trust by communicating and demonstrating that you share the same value and belief. That is why recruiters don’t hire for skills but attitude. Skills can be taught, but attitude must align with the organization’s culture. When you have a belief, i.e., a ‘WHY’ your what is just one of the ways of bringing that WHY to life.

Other parts of this great book discuss building trust, marketing and branding, the big Why and many other cogent topics that add value to organizations and individual.

The WHY does not come from looking ahead at what you want to achieve and figuring out an appropriate strategy to get there. Finding WHY is a process of discovery and not invention.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1:   To influence people’s behavior, you either manipulate or inspire.

Key point #2:   A clearly stated WHY helps separate you from others and build trust.

Key point #3:   Clients identify with organizations that have their WHY clearly stated.

 

One Last Thing

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe”
― Simon Sinek, Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

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We give too many fucks about trivial things while we tend not to give a fuck about the important thing. And because we give a fuck about things that do not matter, it makes us feel bad about ourselves. You need to give a fuck about something but what is the right thing to give a fuck about. ​

The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson was written to help prioritize and focus on what is essential in life. It is about reorganizing your life and letting you discover what to give a fuck about. The key to life is not about giving a fuck about more but giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about what is important, good and expedient.

What does not giving a fuck means? ​

SUBTLETY 1:  Mark Manson made it known that giving a fuck does not make you loved by everyone and not giving a fuck does not make you indifferent. Not giving a fuck means being comfortable with being different. He said “There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and Internet trolls. They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their making, self-absorbed and self-pitying, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.”

People who are different are those who are real, who enjoy been themselves no matter what. They care less about what others think because they strongly believe in their capabilities and abilities. ​

SUBTLETY 2: Not giving a fuck means not to give a fuck about adversity. To avoid giving a fuck about adversity, you must find something important and productive that is worth investing both your time, effort and energy on. Unless you see that important thing, your fucks will be given to meaningless and frivolous things. Dedicate your fucks to something that is worth it. Fuck has to be used wisely; it doesn’t grow on trees. A man minds his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off it and starts minding other people’s business. 

SUBTLETY 3: You have the right to choose what you give your fuck about. As we grow older, you grow out of giving a fuck about everything but only things that matter. This makes us happy on a constant basis. At a point in our life, we become aware of who we are, our strength and the right place to focus our strength on. The more you grow older, the more mature you become, the lesser the things you give a fuck about. We are not going to give a fuck about everything because we have come to understand that some things cannot be changed and because they cannot be changed, we need to fucking accept it that way and move on with life. Your happiness cannot be traded with frivolities and meaningless fucking things.

​Finally, choose what to give a fuck about. Dedicate your fucks only to what’s truly fuck-worthy. Choose what’s important to you and give a fuck about that.  

The Big Three – Key Points

​Key Point #1: Priority, reorganizing your life and deciding what to give a fuck about.

Key Point #2: It advises not to give a fuck about trivial matters but focus on important things and give a fuck about them

Key Point #3: A man minds his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off it and starts minding other people’s business.

One Last Thing

“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
― Mark Manson

Respect

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Sara Lawrence reaches deep into the human experience from the drama of birth to the solemn vigil before death to find the essence of respect. This book reveals the most powerful ingredient in any relationship both personal, professional or public life and also tries to dismantle hierarchies and other forms of denomination and replaces them with a sense of humanity, compassion, and equality.

 

Sara Lawrence was motivated by her interest in exploring the underlying nature of respect and some personal memories. She is also drawn to the concept because she understands the undying importance respect holds in both public and private life cycle. The traditional view of respect, though rarely expressed in its pure form, tends to be relatively static and impersonal. The remnants of this view survive today and shape our expectations, apprehensions, and disappointment. She discovered that respect is not the passive deference offered to a superior but the active force that creates symmetry even in unequal relationships.

Lawrence rejects what she terms the “traditional” notion of respect that accords esteem with rank and social status, often of an inherited sort. She desires to create a new view of respect that is egalitarian, that generates equality between people, mutual empathy and connections of solidarity. The author believes that respect has six qualities: 1) empowerment 2) healing 3) dialogue 4) curiosity 5) self-respect and 6) attention. Each chapter of the book focuses on a quality, interpreting it through concrete narratives.

She illumines empowerment by talking about Jennifer Dohrn, a nurse midwife; healing through the actions of pediatrician Johnye Ballenger; Dialogue through the work of Kay Cottle, curiosity in light of Dawoud Bey, artist, and photographer. Self-respect as expressed in the dignity of law professor David Wilkins who believes there is a proof that self-respect must come not from external measures but from within; only then can individual relate respectfully. And attention as exhibited in the pastoral care of Episcopal priest Bill Wallace. Bill Wallace move insight into the value of attention and silent presence as they relate to respect and the dying.  

Through striving for a type of simplicity of theory, the author never shows philosophically what respect itself means nor how its various qualities are coherently related to one another. She means to say that respect gives rise to attention which of course is true but so do a lot of other motivations that runs a spectrum from the desire to manipulate to the simple permission to contemplative awe.

 

The author works with the premise that respect is the primary virtue of moral life in our society such that it finds everything good- from curiosity to healing from dialogue to attention. There are essential components needed for a respectful relationship.

Usually, respect is seen as involving some debt owed because of their attained or original position, their age, gender, class, race, professional status or because of an accomplishment. This book focus on the way respect creates symmetry, empathy, and connection in all kinds of relationship.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

 

Key point #1: Respect generates respect, a modest loaf becomes many.

 

Key point #2: Respectful relationships have a way of sustaining and replicating themselves

 

Key point #3: Respect creates symmetry, empathy, and connection in all kinds of relationship.

One Last Thing

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

― Albert Einstein