Start With Why

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Start With Why is about an effective way of thinking, communicating, innovating and influencing people as a leader. Simon Sinek displays the notion that capable leaders inspire other people by emphasizing on the intention (‘the WHY’) before the procedure (the “HOW”) and the product or service (the “WHAT”). The more organizations and people who learn to start with WHY, the more those around will live a fulfilled life.

The first part of the book talks about a world that doesn’t start with WHY. Simon discusses two ways to influence behavior which is inspiration or manipulation.  Salespeople believe they attract customers with their features or price. In other words, we have no idea, so we manipulate sales, promotion the whole time. And yes, manipulation works. Prices, promotion, fears, aspirations, and novelty are all used to manipulate and motivate a purchase. All of these techniques work but Simon made it known that they are not sustainable and are short-lived. Regarding leadership, they can push you to the top, but they won’t make people follow you. Leadership is the ability to rally people, not for a single event but for years. However, there are few leaders who choose to inspire rather than motivate people. Whether individuals or organizations, every inspiring leader thinks, acts and communicates the same way. Consciously or not, how they do it is by following a naturally occurring pattern called the Golden Circle.

Part two of this book shows how leaders can inspire actions instead of manipulating people to act. The golden circle revolves around the WHAT (product or service), the HOW ( the procedure) and the WHY (the intention). Inspiring companies start with WHY. There is no trickery or manipulation. They just reverse the order of information. As humans, we crave a sense of belonging and we do this to survive. Starting with why helps to eliminate fear, share your beliefs and create a sense of belonging.

Part three of this book introduces us to the leaders’ needs. Leaders need a following. As members of the human race, we are attracted to those whose values, cultures and beliefs align with ours. When we recruit employees, we recruit people who believe what we believe so that we can trust one another instead of hiring purely based on skills and experience. In order words, leaders must build trust before building followers. The emergence of trust shows that trust is not a checklist. Instead, it is a feeling. We trust people and companies even when things go wrong, and we don’t believe others even when things might have gone the way it should. The idea is as a leader; you must earn trust by communicating and demonstrating that you share the same value and belief. That is why recruiters don’t hire for skills but attitude. Skills can be taught, but attitude must align with the organization’s culture. When you have a belief, i.e., a ‘WHY’ your what is just one of the ways of bringing that WHY to life.

Other parts of this great book discuss building trust, marketing and branding, the big Why and many other cogent topics that add value to organizations and individual.

The WHY does not come from looking ahead at what you want to achieve and figuring out an appropriate strategy to get there. Finding WHY is a process of discovery and not invention.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

Key point #1:   To influence people’s behavior, you either manipulate or inspire.

Key point #2:   A clearly stated WHY helps separate you from others and build trust.

Key point #3:   Clients identify with organizations that have their WHY clearly stated.

 

One Last Thing

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe”
― Simon Sinek, Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

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We give too many fucks about trivial things while we tend not to give a fuck about the important thing. And because we give a fuck about things that do not matter, it makes us feel bad about ourselves. You need to give a fuck about something but what is the right thing to give a fuck about. ​

The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson was written to help prioritize and focus on what is essential in life. It is about reorganizing your life and letting you discover what to give a fuck about. The key to life is not about giving a fuck about more but giving a fuck about less, giving a fuck about what is important, good and expedient.

What does not giving a fuck means? ​

SUBTLETY 1:  Mark Manson made it known that giving a fuck does not make you loved by everyone and not giving a fuck does not make you indifferent. Not giving a fuck means being comfortable with being different. He said “There’s absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They’re couch potatoes and Internet trolls. They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their making, self-absorbed and self-pitying, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.”

People who are different are those who are real, who enjoy been themselves no matter what. They care less about what others think because they strongly believe in their capabilities and abilities. ​

SUBTLETY 2: Not giving a fuck means not to give a fuck about adversity. To avoid giving a fuck about adversity, you must find something important and productive that is worth investing both your time, effort and energy on. Unless you see that important thing, your fucks will be given to meaningless and frivolous things. Dedicate your fucks to something that is worth it. Fuck has to be used wisely; it doesn’t grow on trees. A man minds his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off it and starts minding other people’s business. 

SUBTLETY 3: You have the right to choose what you give your fuck about. As we grow older, you grow out of giving a fuck about everything but only things that matter. This makes us happy on a constant basis. At a point in our life, we become aware of who we are, our strength and the right place to focus our strength on. The more you grow older, the more mature you become, the lesser the things you give a fuck about. We are not going to give a fuck about everything because we have come to understand that some things cannot be changed and because they cannot be changed, we need to fucking accept it that way and move on with life. Your happiness cannot be traded with frivolities and meaningless fucking things.

​Finally, choose what to give a fuck about. Dedicate your fucks only to what’s truly fuck-worthy. Choose what’s important to you and give a fuck about that.  

The Big Three – Key Points

​Key Point #1: Priority, reorganizing your life and deciding what to give a fuck about.

Key Point #2: It advises not to give a fuck about trivial matters but focus on important things and give a fuck about them

Key Point #3: A man minds his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off it and starts minding other people’s business.

One Last Thing

“Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.”
― Mark Manson

Respect

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Sara Lawrence reaches deep into the human experience from the drama of birth to the solemn vigil before death to find the essence of respect. This book reveals the most powerful ingredient in any relationship both personal, professional or public life and also tries to dismantle hierarchies and other forms of denomination and replaces them with a sense of humanity, compassion, and equality.

 

Sara Lawrence was motivated by her interest in exploring the underlying nature of respect and some personal memories. She is also drawn to the concept because she understands the undying importance respect holds in both public and private life cycle. The traditional view of respect, though rarely expressed in its pure form, tends to be relatively static and impersonal. The remnants of this view survive today and shape our expectations, apprehensions, and disappointment. She discovered that respect is not the passive deference offered to a superior but the active force that creates symmetry even in unequal relationships.

Lawrence rejects what she terms the “traditional” notion of respect that accords esteem with rank and social status, often of an inherited sort. She desires to create a new view of respect that is egalitarian, that generates equality between people, mutual empathy and connections of solidarity. The author believes that respect has six qualities: 1) empowerment 2) healing 3) dialogue 4) curiosity 5) self-respect and 6) attention. Each chapter of the book focuses on a quality, interpreting it through concrete narratives.

She illumines empowerment by talking about Jennifer Dohrn, a nurse midwife; healing through the actions of pediatrician Johnye Ballenger; Dialogue through the work of Kay Cottle, curiosity in light of Dawoud Bey, artist, and photographer. Self-respect as expressed in the dignity of law professor David Wilkins who believes there is a proof that self-respect must come not from external measures but from within; only then can individual relate respectfully. And attention as exhibited in the pastoral care of Episcopal priest Bill Wallace. Bill Wallace move insight into the value of attention and silent presence as they relate to respect and the dying.  

Through striving for a type of simplicity of theory, the author never shows philosophically what respect itself means nor how its various qualities are coherently related to one another. She means to say that respect gives rise to attention which of course is true but so do a lot of other motivations that runs a spectrum from the desire to manipulate to the simple permission to contemplative awe.

 

The author works with the premise that respect is the primary virtue of moral life in our society such that it finds everything good- from curiosity to healing from dialogue to attention. There are essential components needed for a respectful relationship.

Usually, respect is seen as involving some debt owed because of their attained or original position, their age, gender, class, race, professional status or because of an accomplishment. This book focus on the way respect creates symmetry, empathy, and connection in all kinds of relationship.

THE BIG THREE – KEY POINTS

 

Key point #1: Respect generates respect, a modest loaf becomes many.

 

Key point #2: Respectful relationships have a way of sustaining and replicating themselves

 

Key point #3: Respect creates symmetry, empathy, and connection in all kinds of relationship.

One Last Thing

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”

― Albert Einstein